he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
