I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
