Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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