Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
3pm strippers are depressing
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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