Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
