i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
