There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
