your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
