super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
