If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i've created a new STD.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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