38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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