BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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