i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
