Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I met the friendliest cop last night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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