Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
