marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
