i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
