Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
