I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
high people should be assigned attendants
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
