The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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