I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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