The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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