remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
