OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
