If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
