If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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