I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
