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i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
