i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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