Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
