Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
