I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
