You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
