She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I smell like Dick and happiness
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
