Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
