You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
