Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
