apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
