i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
