I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
