STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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