College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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