If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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