She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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