Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
