I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
