I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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