He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
