Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
