Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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