So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
