I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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